The WolowitzCopulation
by NeoFanFic
Summary: Sheldon finds Howard a Woman.
1. A Love Scheme

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state, then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...The Earth began to cool, The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools, We built a wall (we built the pyramids), Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries, That all started with the big bang!

_I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IT IS USED FOR FUN PURPOSE._

"_**Leonard, Leonard**_**" came a small voice from against Leonard's door. With a moaning sound Leonard quietly bellowed "Sheldon go back to bed". "I can't" whispered Sheldon continuously. Leonard then pulling his drowsy head from his pillow spoke in a sarcastic tone "What now?" "I have discovered something that can change the way of our world as we know it". Leonard with a little spark of excitement asked with glee "What, what"? With a small pause Sheldon said, " I found Wolowitz a date". Then with no excitement what so ever Leonard replied "Bye". He then quickly dragged his down on his pillow signaling Sheldon to leave. **

_**! Next Morning!**_

**Leonard sitting on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons like the child at heart he is suddenly heard a knock on the door. Without opening the door Howard walked in yelling "SHELDON". Howard then sat down on the leather couch non-patient for Sheldon. Sheldon comes through the hallway glaring at Howard Wolowitz the pasty mushroom cut nerd who stills with his mom. Sheldon still looking at Howard replies with a different subject "Your in my chair". Howard then jumps up in a angry motion and tells Sheldon "Why did you find me a date the Wolowitz can find his own milk to top his cocoa puffs". Sheldon in a weird face replies "Well to bad your going out with her". "What how can you possibly make me go out with this women I don't even know" spoke Howard. Leonard quietly speaks "You always try to pick up girls you don't even know. "Yes but I never go out with them either" yelled Howard bravely. A knock on the door came and the three guys turned to the door. "I think its her," said Sheldon in a smart alic tone. Sheldon reaches for the door handle opening it revealing Raj waving his hand at Sheldon. "I don't think its her," said Sheldon in a weird serious tone. Raj then enters the apartment saying, "Who's her"? Then in a smirked voice Leonard said "Howard's date that Sheldon got for him". Then with a gigantic humorous laugh he spoke "What is she 700 pounds"? Then a voice from behind spoke "300 pounds smart ass". Koothrapalli then quickly turns around noticing obeist women with long red hair and a black t-shirt on, reading "Princess". Raj then stops, then making a weird "Eek" sound he quickly runs down the Apartment building stairs. Sheldon finally speaks up saying "Wolowitz this is your date Audrina". Howard still in a shock turns to Sheldon and says with a nervous voice "Thank you Sheldon thank you". He then turns to Audrina and says, "Lets go baby my mom makes one hell of a brisket". Can I come Sheldon spoke anxiously? Howard and Audrina turn to Sheldon at the same time saying "NO".**

_**Hope you like my first chapter I will add a total of 4 chapters over April and May. Please write reviews.**_


	2. Bathroom's Suck

"Today has been the best day of my life," said Howard as he walked through Sheldon and Leonard's apartment. "How was it?" asked Leonard. With a sigh of enjoyment Howard noted "Three words it was AWESOME". Right then Raj entered the living no doubt returning from the bathroom. "So Howard did you get your Clark Kent into her Lois Lane?" said Raj with a humorous tone. Then with a sarcastic tone Sheldon said "The only way you could have sexual contact with this women is if you put cake on your genital area. Then with a voice of hope Howard said, "You think that would work?"

_**! PENNYS APARTMENT!**_

"C'mon Leonard, what's wrong?" asked Penny their waitress neighbor who in Sheldon's mind was a waste of skin. Then after a short pause Leonard quietly said, "It is just that Howard got a girlfriend, a fat girlfriend, but a girlfriend." "Oh sweety don't you hurry you'll find a girl some day some how." Said Penny. "Oh I didn't know that they will have holographic girlfriends before I die" said Leonard in a sarcastic tone.

_**! Apartment Bathroom!**_

Inside Sheldon's head is a complicated and not to mention disorderly thing. In the bathroom he was sitting in his bathtub soaking for approximately 25 minutes and at 10 minutes scrub and shampoo, Sheldon adored his tight, neat ways. In Sheldon's mind he could think of the strangest things. "I wonder who would win in a fight, Archie or Jughead?" pondered Sheldon for the 25 minutes. Then when it was time to get out he put on his towel reached for the handle but it wouldn't open, he pulled and pulled and pulled but just couldn't get it open. He then pondered and spoke aloud to himself "I'm a Physicist I should be able to open a door." He then broke out into tears.

_Yay done another Chapter it may not be an interesting one but setting up plots for next chapters_


End file.
